I’ve been gone a while

As an update, I have been distracted from writing since I was hospitalized for my mental health and am struggling to go through the motions of telling stories and writing poems and doing my other “normal” activities.

My mental health has been keeping me busy trying to stay afloat since being hospitalized during the winter. During that time, I had an eight-day period of psychosis including a very short stint believing I was Shonda Rhimes among other delusions and vivid hallucinations. I plan to write more about this when and if my memories of that time come back.

I’m still not feeling myself though I am doing all I can to get well. I have two new providers for psychiatry and therapy and am being followed by my primary care doctor. I still have crying jags when pressed into stressful situations, I have restlessness and anxiety over everyday activities such as cleaning. I still fight with my delusions every day feeling at one moment like I am able to conquer the world and the next feeling like a pile of shit that isn’t worth the skin I’m in. I can be energetic one day, lethargic and irritable the next; some days the cycles are even faster than that. I am taking new medication to help manage symptoms, but there are side effects. This is life with Bipolar disorder. And add PTSD symptoms on top. More about this in my pervious post Bipolar/PTSD and Me available HERE

One positive development:

Over the spring I was able to publish Shadow Eater: A Recollection which is available on Amazon. This features poems covering the first twenty five or so years of my life written over the last two decades. From Amazon “Through exacting language and poignant imagery, she shines light onto life's darkest shadows and digests essential moments of sorrow and joy to share with you, the readers of her story.”

I am not sure when I’ll be posting again, but thank you for reading.